Keeping Your Personal Relationships Strong While Caregiving
The stresses of caregiving can cause significant strains on a marriage or any other relationship. Here’s how to keep stress at bay and keep your personal relationships healthy.
Taking on the role of caregiver for someone who needs physical and emotional support is a uniquely selfless act of love. At the same time, it can be all-consuming, and cause significant strain on a marriage or any other relationship. It’s valuable to recognize some of these potential stressors so you can be aware of the potential problems, take steps to keep stress at bay, and keep your personal relationships healthy, despite the circumstances.
Common Relationship Stressors:
Increased caregiving responsibilities can lead to an imbalance in your ability to maintain personal relationships, and leave you feeling overwhelmed by the demands.
The financial strains caused by medical bills, the cost of medications, required home modifications, and disagreements over budgets can cause friction in a personal relationship.
Role changes that arise as a result of your caregiving activities can result in a shift in the dynamics of a relationship, and lead to feelings of resentment, or loss of identity.
The emotional toll of seeing a loved one’s decline because of their illness can increase feelings of grief, sadness, frustration or burn out that can make it difficult to connect with your spouse or partner.
Lack of quality time can lead to feelings of loneliness, and disconnectedness between you and your spouse or partner.
Communication issues can arise, causing difficulty in expressing your needs or concerns, which can lead to misunderstandings and resentment.
The physical and emotional demands of caregiving can lead to intimacy issues with your partner, which could lead to a decrease in sexual intimacy or emotional closeness due to stress and fatigue.
Resentment and guilt can arise from the decrease of time you are able to devote to your spouse or partner.
Feelings of lack of support can exacerbate stress and resentment if you feel unsupported or unappreciated.
Tips for Managing These Stressors:
Keep in mind, how you manage your stress will vary significantly depending on the stage of your loved one’s illness. Realize you may need to try different strategies during different stages of the illness.
Start by setting realistic expectations for yourself: Caregiving for a loved one can be demanding and emotionally draining. Acknowledge that you both may need breaks and support from time to time.
Communicate openly: Talk about the challenges you are facing. Be mindful that both you and your partner likely have a different perspective on the challenges you are facing as a couple. It is important for both of you to be heard and validated by one another. Keeping an open line of communication will avoid misunderstandings and build mutual trust.
Share responsibility fairly between you and your spouse or partner: Look at each other’s strengths and weaknesses and delegate tasks accordingly.
Be open: Seek support from family, friends, support groups, or professional counselors.
Practice self-care and stay connected: Make time for things you enjoy doing individually and as a couple. Schedule regular date nights or set aside quality time together, even if it’s for a short walk. This helps reduce stress and maintain emotional wellbeing.
Establish and maintain boundaries: This is essential. It’s ok to set time for yourself and time to do things with your spouse or partner.
Be flexible and willing to adapt and adjust your approach to caregiving: Be open to respite options that might involve a long weekend away, for example. This helps navigate the ups and downs of the caregiving journey without letting it strain your relationship.
Seek professional help: Connect with a counselor or advisor if the strain on your relationship with your spouse or partner is becoming overwhelming.
Remember that you're not alone in this journey. Your NAN Navigator will help identify additional resources if needed to help you navigate the complexities of caregiving while protecting your relationship.
This content was made possible through the contributions of Jen Paranhos, LCSW
Adapted from:
https://stellarcaresd.com/choosing-between-spouse-and-elderly-parent/
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/marriage-spouse-problems-caring-for-elderly-parents-139761.htm
