From the desk of Rosemary Laird, MD
Founder of Navigating Aging Needs (NAN), LLC
Alzheimer's and Motherhood
Aside from the enormous impact on mental and physical health that a caregiver experiences as a result of the stress of their day-to-day duties, there is also often a profound impact on the overall relationship between mother and her caregiver as the disease progresses. After all, each person has spent years in certain well-defined roles, and then in a short time many of the dynamics of the relationship may undergo dramatic changes.
Hope on the Horizon
Amid the everyday challenges of caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease, there is often an overarching concern that every caregiver carries: How to stay hopeful for your loved one’s benefit.
Uncertain Times
Uncertainty can be nerve-wracking for a caregiver of a loved one suffering from Alzheimer’s disease. Alzheimer’s is a progressive disease, and so it is continually changing how your loved one’s brain behaves, sometimes in unexpected ways. Activities that were once everyday occurrences for your loved one may suddenly disappear; new and strange behaviors may arise.
The Family Ties That Bind
It’s important and sometimes all too fleeting, but even a brief period together as a family, if you can manage it, does a world of good to help everyone through troubling times. This can be even more true of family caregivers and our loved ones experiencing the changes of Alzheimer’s disease. Having the family around can make your loved one feel more comfortable in their surroundings, and gives them a chance, perhaps, to reminisce about family times in the past.
It's Time to Decide!
“Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide,” said Napoleon Bonaparte. He may have been talking about a battle in wartime. But for caregivers of loved ones suffering from Alzheimer’s, the enormous value — and often agonizing process — of planning for a serious health care event in the future has never been more important.
Reality is Relative
In the world of caregiving for a loved one suffering from Alzheimer’s, dealing with what is real and what is not can be extremely challenging, and even dangerous. Some instances can be mundane, such as when your loved one can’t remember an appointment or whether they’ve taken their medicine or not. In other, more serious cases, the ravages of Alzheimer’s may trigger delusions and paranoia.
The Power of Family
As the poet Walt Whitman once wrote, “I contain multitudes.” And indeed, as you go through your daily rounds of caregiving, remember the role that you and your loved one play in your family’s legacy, and how you each may be one of those 1,000-plus people that are related to a little baby that is born a century from now.
Balancing Act!
As a caregiver of someone suffering from Alzheimer’s disease, centering yourself and finding balance in your life is of utmost importance. That means taking care of your mental and physical health, staying connected with your community, getting help when you need it, and most importantly, setting realistic goals for what you can achieve.
Keeping Your Orbit!
Your caregiving activities create the ordinary cycles of daily life such as eating, sleeping, and bathing, keeping you “in orbit” with your loved one on a continual basis. I’m sure that as a caregiver, it can sometimes feel as though you are a satellite locked in a gravitational vise around your loved one’s needs. At the same time, the progression of the disease can sometimes change the overall dynamics of your relationship over time.
The Body Keeps the Time!
You can’t hear it go “tick tock,” but scientists have found that your body has its own internal clock. Based on internal rhythms of light, hormones, and eating, your body is pretty good at settling into a roughly 24-hour cycle of wakefulness and sleep, even without clocks.
Slam the Scam!
Older adults are often the target for scammers because the criminals believe that they have larger savings accounts. But low-income older Americans are also targeted, too, because the elderly tend to be less savvy about new technologies such as email, texts, and mobile phones.
Don't Lose Sleep Over This!
As a caregiver for a loved one suffering from Alzheimer’s, it may sometimes feel as though your day is as rigorous as a medical student in training! Your loved one's illness may impact their sleep habits, too, and therefore make it difficult for you to get restful sleep. As we always promote here at NAN Navigator, it’s crucial for you to optimize your self-care in addition to caring for your loved one, and that includes both of you adhering to good sleeping habits.
You Gotta Have Friends!
Several recent scientific studies support the idea that having strong social connections is a key to better health and a longer life — more than a person’s diet and exercise!
Money Talks!
Now that the sparkle has faded from the new year’s celebrations, it’s time to get down to some basics. One of those basics, which most people don’t enjoy thinking or talking about very much, is money. Yet doing a financial overview at this point in the year can help you prepare and adjust for the following months, giving you peace of mind and reducing your stress levels.
Keeping Your Identity
Sometimes it seems that the world is changing so quickly that you feel like your head is swimming and you are losing your sense of balance. Any transition can be unnerving, and that is particularly true for people caring for a loved one suffering from Alzheimer’s disease.
Never Say Never!
Well, it finally happened: Florida got some snow. Granted it was “up north’ in Florida, and nowhere near my home. But our “Sunshine State” did indeed get some wintery flakes.
Of course, it’s not the first time that snow has fallen on our part of the planet. Just about a half century ago, in 1977, snowflakes hit the ground as far south as Miami Beach. And in 1899, snow graced the landscapes of Fort Myers and Fort Pierce.
All of which is to reinforce the idea that one should “never say never.” Sure, something may only happen once in a lifetime, but sometimes, once is enough to cause some serious circumstances to deal with.
Facing the Winds of Change
For caregivers of a loved one suffering from Alzheimer’s, change is even more of a constant companion. Alzheimer’s is a degenerative disease that currently has no cure, and so the only thing that is certain is that the future will not be like the present.
Resolve to Make Better Resolutions!
Happy New Year everyone! Though it is really just another day on the calendar, New Year’s always inspires in me a sense of renewal and rejuvenation. And of course, it’s a time-honored tradition to make one or more resolutions for the new year.
How to Get Through the Holidays
As the year winds down into its closing weeks and we head into the holiday season, I want to pause, take a breath, and say thanks, thanks, thanks, to you all!
Coping with Holiday Travel
Human beings are one of the most peripatetic creatures on earth: We love to travel. We’re not quite at the level of the Arctic tern, which flies about 44,000 miles every year — roughly the circumference of the earth — during its annual migration. But we do like to get around, especially during the holidays.