How to Help Your Loved One Enjoy the Holiday Season
The typical chaos, excitement, and joy of the holiday season can be overwhelming for someone with Alzheimer’s disease. But with a little planning ahead, you can make holiday gatherings more enjoyable and less stressful for all involved.
The typical chaos, excitement, and joy of the holiday season can be overwhelming for someone with Alzheimer’s disease. That in turn, can impact you and other friends and family. With a little planning ahead, you can make holiday gatherings more enjoyable and less stressful for all involved.
Start with the Big Picture!
Planning will go a long way to help make the holidays enjoyable for all. Keep your planning focused on the main goal, namely the enjoyment of having you, your loved one, and your extended family and friends enjoying precious time together.
Communicate ahead of time with family and friends:
Depending on the symptoms your loved one has, you will want to alert guests so they can be prepared and will be able to engage effectively. For example, if you know your loved one is keeping quiet these days and struggling with social conversation, tipping off guests can allow them to approach your loved one warmly and get the conversation flowing.
Often, there will be guests who have not seen your loved one since the last holiday gathering, which could be long ago. A lot can change in that time period, and you will want to prepare your guests for any changes that have occurred in your loved one’s behavior. Important aspects to explain could be that the illness has changed your loved one’s interest in socializing, for example, and ability to participate in conversations, or even a traditional family holiday event or game.
An added benefit of updating others about your loved one’s condition is that you can ask other family members and friends for their help. Reach out to them and ask if they are interested in spending a little time with your loved one during the holidays, which will allow you some time to handle other holiday tasks, or to simply take a break.
Plan Ahead, and Plan to Adjust
If possible, involve your loved one in planning your holiday festivities. Find out which traditions or events mean the most to them and focus your efforts there. Realize you may need to be flexible in adjusting them to accommodate changes from the illness, and the available time you may or may not have to prepare. And remember, don’t be too hard on yourself in striving to get things “just right”. Keep your expectations reasonable; acknowledge that circumstances have changed, and that the holiday gathering will not be exactly the same as it has been in years past. Your family and friends will no doubt understand the need for this change.
Include Your Loved One As Much As is Practical In the Day's Activities
Depending on their current abilities, your loved one might be able to help prepare the meal or help set the table. Plan this activity carefully. Practice ahead of time, if possible, to avoid any last-minute upsets. If you can help find a way your loved one can be successful, it will help them to feel involved and add to the enjoyment of the day for everyone.
Maintain Your Routines
If your loved one usually takes a walk after lunch, help them to keep up with this activity during the holidays. You should also allow them to take a nap at their usual time, and to eat at the same times as they usually do. Such structure can help your loved one feel more comfortable amid the hustle and bustle of the holidays.
Plan a Place for Respite
Given their illness, your loved one may enjoy the festivities in several short bursts rather than as one prolonged event. Consider having a space specially outfitted where he or she can go to get some rest and take a break from the activities. This space can also serve as a quiet space where a one-on-one conversation with a family member or friend may be more enjoyable for your loved one.
Don't ask “Do you Remember Who This is?”
A family gathering shouldn’t become a test of memory. When you introduce your loved one to someone new, no matter how close the relation, include the first name and relationship. For example, say: “Mother, your nephew Jeff wants to say Hi."
Involve Kids with Care
The energy and enthusiasm of kids can be a blessing, but for your loved one having little ones around can bring unexpected challenges. Keeping your loved one’s current habits and moods in mind, think about the ages and temperaments of the children who will be attending the event. If possible, you can plan activities that children and your loved one can safely participate in together, like singing, playing a simple game, or making cookies. Just be sure to keep an eye out to make sure that the kids aren't wearing out or stressing your loved one as they spend time together. If the children are older, consider giving them age-appropriate questions to ask your loved one to spur a conversation, or have them invite your loved one to share a memory. For example, they might ask: “Grandpa, what kind of games did you play when you were a kid?” Or: “Grandma/Grandpa, tell me about the first time you met Grandpa/Grandma?” And the classic, “Grandma/Grandpa, did Mom always make her bed every morning before she went to school?”
