Facing the Long Goodby
Dear Caregivers,
Here in Florida, we don’t experience the changes of Autumn as dramatically as people elsewhere in the nation, particularly in the northern states. Still, there is no getting around the fact that the coming of winter is literally “in the air,” whether it’s a puff of cooler breeze, the rays of the setting sun slanting lower in the sky, or the sight of a dead leaf falling from its branch and spiraling to the ground.
I’m an optimist by nature, but the onset of winter always prompts me to pause and reflect on life's natural cycle of birth, growth, decline, and death. For a caregiver of a loved one with Alzheimer’s, the coming of winter can sometimes be even more burdensome. Alzheimer’s is an incurable disease of slow decline, and the end point is inevitable. It is a heavy weight for every caregiver to bear, and for some people the winter days can amplify its impact.
Still, as nature tells us, these cycles are a fundamental part of life, for better or for worse. And every life is like a leaf, which announces itself in sparkling spring green, flourishes through the summer, turns bright red in the fall, and comes to rest in winter to begin the cycle again. It is a thing of beauty to behold, and to be cherished at every step along the way.
Here is some more advice on coping with some of life’s more challenging changes.
Facing the Grief of Caregiving:
It is common for family caregivers helping a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease to feel a profound sense of grief for all that is lost to this disease. This grief and sense of loss can set in a stage of this illness known as “the long goodbye.” Loss of interest in activities we previously found rewarding and enjoyable are lessened or no longer enjoyable. This is often seen in depression but can also be attributed to a profound loss. Here’s how to cope.
Planning for a Funeral:
It’s a curious aspect of American culture that while it is inevitable that everyone will die at some point in their life, no one seems very eager to plan for that eventuality. But, if you feel comfortable doing so and it won’t upset your loved one, talking to your loved one now about funeral plans, no matter how far off, can help you feel comforted during a difficult time knowing you are following their wishes. Here's how to start.
How to Help Your Loved One Cope with the Loss of a Pet:
How you help your loved one cope with the death of a pet will vary depending upon their stage of memory loss and their ability to understand what has occurred. Keep in mind their illness may impact the way they express emotions or want to be comforted. Here are some tips to consider.
Remember, if you can’t find the information you need on our website, you can always “Ask NAN” by clicking on this link.
Best,
Rosemary D Laird, MD, MHSA
Founder and Chief Medical Officer
“What is lovely never dies, but passes into another loveliness.”
— Thomas Bailey Aldrich
