Change Is In The Air
Dear Caregivers,
It seems that every year, about this time, I’m moved to write an article about the beginning of a new season and the inevitability of change. And that’s because change is happening all around us, all the time. Ironically, this has the effect of also reminding me that despite all the change, there is in fact some constancy in our lives.
For caregivers of a loved one suffering from Alzheimer's disease, change can carry a special burden. As the disease progresses, you may find yourself continually adjusting to new challenges, from changes in your loved one's memory and behavior to increasing responsibilities for their daily care. And along the way, your own life, your relationships, and your routines may be changing, too.
But while you perhaps can’t always control the changes life brings, we all can learn to better manage how we respond to them.
BE PREPARED: As you likely understand, Alzheimer’s is an illness that will progress with time and change your loved one in a number of ways. Learning as much as you can about the symptoms and stages of the disease does more than help you plan ahead: More importantly, it gives you a sense of control, and that goes a long way to decreasing your anxiety and giving you confidence about the future.
BE FLEXIBLE: Understand that the kinds of things that are working for you today may not work the same way in the future. Try focusing less on preserving what’s working in the present, and more on experimenting with tweaks and adaptations that can help you achieve the same goals, but in a slightly different way.
BE WILLING TO LET GO: It is inevitable that Alzheimer’s will deliver a sense of losing something you hold dear, whether it’s your loved one’s abilities, independence, or sense of self. It’s also inevitable, and natural, to resist acknowledging these losses. However, resisting change that is unavoidable in the end only adds to your burden and anxiety. Far better is to try to direct your energy toward things you can actively do to improve your lives.
BE ABLE TO FIND JOY IN THE PRESENT: Like it or not, change is a part of life. But as such, change is as much part of the present as it is of the future. Make sure you don’t overlook the pleasures that may be taking place today, whether it's a shared song, a favorite meal, or an activity that celebrates your times together.
You can’t prevent change from occurring on the road ahead. But by learning, adapting, and finding joy in the present, you can make the journey more rewarding along the way.
Here are some more resources to help you cope with change:
What do the 7 Stages of Alzheimer’s disease mean?
Knowing the stages of Alzheimer’s helps caregivers predict what kinds of behaviors to expect in their loved one, as well as prepare for changes yet to come. Here's what you need to know.
The Benefits of a Daily Routine:
A consistent daily routine provides structure and comfort for people suffering from dementia and their caregivers. Plan to continually explore, experiment, and adjust the activities based on the mood and the abilities of your loved one with dementia. Here’s an overview and sample daily schedule.
Facing the Grief of Caregiving:
It is common for family caregivers helping a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease to feel a profound sense of grief for all that is lost to this disease. Loss of interest in activities we previously found rewarding and enjoyable are lessened or no longer enjoyable. This is often seen in depression but can also be attributed to a profound loss. Here’s how to cope.
Best,
Rosemary D Laird, MD, MHSA
Founder and Chief Medical Officer
“All that you touch you change. All that you change changes you. The only lasting truth is change."
— Octavia E. Butler
