Communicating With Your Loved One
Communicating with a loved one with Alzheimer's can be challenging, as the illness robs your loved one of their abilities to remember and process information during a conversation. But there are ways you can make it easier for both of you to communicate effectively. Here are some tips:
Practice patience: Because Alzheimer's disease disrupts your loved one's ability to understand and communicate, it's critically important to give them time to process a question and formulate a response. Ask one question at a time. If possible, provide them with a choice rather than asking open-ended questions. For example, ask, "Would you like chicken salad or tuna salad for lunch" rather than "Are you hungry? Or "what kind of salad would you like?"
Use simple language: Use simple, straightforward language and avoid using complex sentences or abstract concepts. Break down complicated ideas into simple, step-by-step concepts or directions.
Speak slowly, clearly, and in a normal tone of voice: Speak slowly and clearly, making sure your loved one understands what is being said at each step. Facing your loved one and making eye contact will also enhance your communication. Consider sitting beside your loved one or kneeling to attain their eye level. Refrain from exaggerating by talking too loudly or too softly, and don't repeat the same sentence repeatedly if your loved one doesn't seem to be understanding. Think of a new way to say what you are trying to communicate. The next tip may help in this situation.
Use visual aids: While you are speaking, show your loved one a photo or picture, write out key concepts, or make a drawing. Use whatever will help them understand what you are saying. For example, writing choices on paper can help clarify a decision you would like them to make.
Use nonverbal cues: Use nonverbal cues such as facial expressions, gestures, and touch to communicate.
Don't correct or argue: If your loved one misremembers something or gets a time or place wrong while speaking, don't argue with them and try to correct the facts. This will only cause your loved one frustration and confusion. If they are in a social situation with others, it could also lead to unintended embarrassment.
Be positive: Try to use positive, encouraging language when addressing your loved one, and make sure you focus on what your loved one can do rather than what they can't or didn't do. No one likes to receive a command such as "Stop doing that!" or "Stay away from there!" Your loved one is no different. These kinds of negative commands may frustrate and even agitate your loved one. This chart gives some examples of how to keep your language in a positive vein.
As much as you can, try to communicate in a way that suggests that you and your loved one are working together instead of you doing it for them. That helps give your loved one a feeling of independence, which allows them to retain their self-esteem and dignity. As the illness progresses, with patience, understanding, and a little creativity, you can find ways to help both of you communicate effectively.
