Supporting Your Loved One Through the Transition to Assisted Living
Your loved one will be faced with enormous change, and the loss of a familiar place they once called home. Here’s how to help ease the transition.
Moving is known to be one of the top stressors in life. Knowing the potential challenges that can arise when your loved one moves into an assisted living facility, and having a plan that will make the transition as smooth as possible, can reduce the stress for both you and your loved one.
Before the Move: Research and Tour.
Often our loved ones feel a loss of control when they move into an assisted living facility, as many of the decisions they once made for themselves have been relinquished, and not always willingly. Whenever possible involve your loved one in the parts of the process that they can manage, giving them a sense of inclusion in the next chapter of their journey. At the same time, keep in mind not to overwhelm your loved one with too many options to choose from. A good first step is to discuss, for instance, what kinds of amenities they would enjoy having in their new home.
You might consider enlisting the assistance of a placement service. These services are often provided at no cost and will help to narrow down the communities to a select few that meet your criteria. Your Navigator can direct you to reputable placement services in your area. Should you and your loved one tour together, consider arranging a time at the facility when there is an activity that your loved one would enjoy, or arrange to get a meal there.
Emotional Support: Put yourself in your loved one’s shoes.
While for some loved ones a move can be years in the making, for others a move may be necessary due to a change in circumstances that result in the need for a quick transition.
Either way, however, in both scenarios your loved one will be faced with enormous change, and the loss of a familiar place they once called home. It’s important to watch for any changes in your loved one’s mood during this time. If the loss of a spouse or primary caregiver led to the move, for example, feelings of grief along, with a physical change in your loved one’s environment, can further impact their wellbeing. Be sure to keep your loved one’s primary care physician informed of any concerns.
During the Move: Be an Advocate for your Loved One.
While your loved one is living among many other people, they deserve to be treated as an individual as much as possible within the limitations of the facility. Make an effort to get to know the staff and administrators and help them learn about your loved one. This will make for a smoother collaboration should any concerns arise. It’s also worth taking the time to review the community handbook. Knowing the rules prior to move in will help manage expectations.
Personalize Their Space: Think favorites!
Incorporate items that will help make your loved one’s new space feel like home. While you may be tempted to buy new furniture in order to make the moving experience feel more exciting, using your loved one’s existing, cherished furnishings will provide them comfort through the recognition of those familiar pieces.
As a final touch, decorate the new home with your loved one’s favorite mementos, photos, and comfort items.
After the Move: Establish Routines.
Help your loved one establish a daily routine within the new home and community. Creating structure can provide a sense of stability and familiarity. Assist them in setting up a schedule for meals, activities, exercise, and social interactions. Consider using a calendar and/or dry erase board as visual aids for both routine and periodic events such as doctor appointments. Another helpful visual aid is a calendar clock.
Your Loved One’s Activities: Get Involved!
In general, you will want to encourage your loved one to participate in the activities and social events offered at the senior living home. However, it will help if you review the activities and social events offered at their new home, and keep in mind your loved one’s abilities and preferences. This will help you help your loved one identify activities they may enjoy. Be open to new ideas, as you may be surprised at things that interest them, so don’t hold back an activity unless there are safety concerns. If time allows, you can plan to accompany them to the activity, but there will be benefits to their doing activities on their own as well.
It can feel intimidating to join a new activity or a meal for the first time, joining your loved one in the beginning can help them adjust. It’s equally important to help your loved one maintain a routine, if you visit during a mealtime or their favorite activity, join them!
Maintain Relationships: Stay connected.
Help your loved one remain connected with family and friends outside the senior living home. Regular visits, phone calls, video chats, or even sending letters can provide a sense of love, support, and belonging. Consider asking family and friends to contribute to this outreach regularly.
Encourage independence: Keep your loved one involved.
Support your loved one in maintaining their independence as much as possible. Encourage them to remain independent in activities of daily living for as long as they can. When feasible include your loved one in the decision-making processes regarding their daily routines, healthcare options, and personal interests.
Explore Support Services: Research and learn.
Research and help your loved one access any support services available within the senior living community such as physical therapy, counseling, wellness programs, and support groups. Some communities even have a volunteer welcome committee or person.
Taking Care of Yourself During a Move
Acclimating Takes Time: Be patient.
Whether your loved one agreed with the move, or it was a necessity for their care and safety, keep in mind there will be a time of adjustment for both of you. Be patient, understanding, and empathetic toward your loved one’s emotions and needs. Consider their perspective, whether they feel a loss of independence or have increased confusion due to new surroundings, understanding where they are cognitively and emotionally can help guide you on how to best support them. Lastly, keep in mind that you also have a medical care team for support. For example, if your loved one suffers from anxiety, this is likely to increase during a move. Inform the staff of any trusted coping mechanisms that work well for your loved one. In addition, be sure to consult with your loved one’s physician for any medication adjustments that might be needed.
Take Your Oxygen First: Give yourself time to adjust.
Supporting your loved one through a move can create a wide range of emotions. Yes, there is the stress of the logistics, but additionally your role as caregiver is shifting into new territory. Give yourself time to process how you are feeling and seek professional guidance when needed. It’s essential to keep practicing self-care and maintaining your own health and wellbeing during this time.
By implementing these strategies, you can help your loved one adjust to their new home and ensure they feel supported, cared for, and included in their new community. Your continuous love and encouragement will go far with making their transition as smooth as possible.
This content was made possible through the contributions of Kirsten DeAngelis, NAN Expert.
For more information, see: Difficult Conversations: Discussing the Need for a Move
