Stay in Touch!
By adhering to a few basic guidelines you can keep the critical lines of communication open.
Dear Caregivers,
Last week humanity gave a big shout to an old, lost friend across 12 billion miles of space — and heard a reply! The old friend is the space probe Voyager 2, which launched 46 years ago to study the outer planets of the solar system, and since then has been hurtling outward through space, sending back data. Recently, however, Voyager became disoriented and lost contact with earth, leading concerned space officials to send a blast of communication to it, hoping to get it reoriented. That trick worked, and now we earthlings and the probe have resumed our important conversation.
Maintaining communication is critically important here at home, too. Because of the changes of Alzheimer's, sometimes your loved one can seem like they are a billion miles away when you try to get through to them. The changes their brains experience can alter their perceptions and ultimately impact their understanding of what you are saying. By adhering to a few basic guidelines, however, you can keep the critical lines of communication open.
Keep It Slow, Simple, and Calm: Your loved one’s ability to process information is being slowed by the disease, and so you need to match your communication to that slower pace. Try to frame your questions to have a simple “Yes” or “No” answer. Allow your loved one time to respond to your questions, and don’t interrupt or urge them to speed up their response.
Be Present and Be Real: When communicating with your loved one, stand in their field of view and make eye contact. Point to or show pictures of objects you are discussing. Don’t talk with someone else about your loved one as "he" or "she" when your loved one is in the same room; instead, use their name, and make your loved one part of the conversation.
Don’t Argue or Correct, and Stay Positive: If your loved one mis-remembers something, realize you don't always have to “set the record straight." If it is a matter of little consequence just move on. You might even choose to give your loved one positive reinforcement for participating in the conversation and make them feel more comfortable about their responses. If the mis-rembering is about an important topic that you feel you need to correct, do what you can to calmly correct the mistake without embarrassing your loved one. If need be, redirect the conversation to another topic.
A Hug Is Worth a Thousand Words: Your loved one is very attuned to non-verbal cues. Giving a smile, a touch of an arm, and a warm hug can mean a lot more to your loved one than mere words.
Adapt to the Circumstances: Alzheimer’s is an ongoing, degenerative disease, and like the Voyager space probe, communication lines can change with time, and you need to adapt your style to their abilities.
Remember, communicating with your entire caregiving team, and especially your Navigator, is also critically important to this journey. Your Navigator is always ready to help when needed. Just give us a shout!
Here are some more resources to help you with better communication:
Communicating With Your Loved One:
Communicating with a loved one with Alzheimer's can be challenging, as the illness robs your loved one of their abilities to remember and process information during a conversation. But there are ways you can make it easier for both of you to communicate effectively.
Strategies for a Good Day…Even if You Cannot be There:
Helping to provide a “good day” can be a challenge if you, the primary caregiver, cannot be there because of work or other commitments. Here are some tips on how to give your loved one a satisfying day.
Communicating with Your Caregiving Village:
As the primary advocate for your loved one, you need to feel confident and comfortable adding your voice to the conversations about their care. Here’s how to communicate with your healthcare providers.
Remember, if you can’t find the information you need on our website, you can always “Ask NAN” by clicking on this link.
Best,
Rosemary D Laird, MD, MHSA
Founder and Chief Medical Officer
“Communication is the fuel that keeps the fire of your relationship burning, without it, your relationship goes cold.”
— William Paisley
