Ten Tips for Better Communication with a Person with Dementia
Like many things that change after a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease, your loved one’s ability to understand, process, and communicate information will change. Fortunately, there are strategies and skills you can use to reduce any miscommunications that could frustrate both of you.
1. Keep things Positive
Set a positive mood by using a pleasant and respectful tone of voice and volume.
2. Keep Your Composure
Your attitude and body language communicate your feelings and thoughts. Sometimes this can be stronger than your words. Use facial expressions to help your loved one see you are engaged and interested.
3. Be sure you have your Loved One’s attention
Help reduce distractions and noise—turn off the radio or TV, close the curtains or shut the door, or move to a calmer, quieter location for a conversation. If you need to get or recapture their attention, try this:
Make eye contact and smile. Address them by name and (if need be, remind them of your name and relation). If your loved one is seated, do not stand over them. Instead, get down to her level and keep eye contact.
4. Rephrase it
Think about what you need to say and keep in mind the changes your loved one may be facing.
Too many wordy or complicated sentences will be difficult to process.
Use simple words and short, clear sentences. Avoid excessive use of pronouns, he/she, etc. Instead use the names of people and places
Don’t mumble! Speak slowly
Refrain from raising your voice higher/louder instead try a lower pitch
If your loved one doesn’t understand something you say, try rephrasing it. Don’t keep repeating the sentences they cannot understand. Occasionally writing down key words will help your loved one regroup and be able to participate in the conversation.
5. One Question at a Time
Again, no multitasking! Ask one question at a time; those with yes or no answers work best.
DO NOT ASK “Are you hungry? How about we have chicken for dinner? We have the leftovers from last week when Sherry was here.”
DO ASK “Are you hungry?“ Wait for that answer. Then ask “Would you like chicken?” Wait for that answer. If they say No, say something like “How about meatloaf?”
6. Ask the Right Questions
Refrain from asking open-ended questions or giving too many choices.
DO NOT ASK “What do you want to wear today?“
DO ASK “Would you like to wear your white shirt or your blue shirt?”
7. Patience is a virtue
Be patient as your Loved One works to communicate. At times it may take longer.
8. When the words won’t come
If possible, ask your loved one ahead of time if you can help fill in the blanks. But remember that filling in the blanks may be all right in private but embarrassing to your loved one in public. On the other hand, IF your loved one is struggling while out in public, try helping by only saying the missing word. If possible, don’t take over the conversation.
9. You do NOT have to set the record straight
Your loved one may get a fact wrong or tell a family story with some facts out of order. Avoid trying to convince them they are wrong. Stay focused on the social situation and do what you can to keep them from any embarrassment. If the facts truly don’t matter, move on.
10. Step by Step
If you are helping your loved one complete a task, for example, taking medications from the organizer, your instructions will be more successful if you break down the activity into a series of written steps.
This makes many tasks much more manageable. You can encourage your loved one to do what they can and over time you can adjust the level of support you give. Start by gently supporting any steps they tend to forget. Later you will need to assist with steps they are no longer able to accomplish on their own.
At all stages, using visual cues such as a written list, or showing your loved one with your hand where to place the dinner plate, for example, can be very helpful.
11. Make em’ Laugh
Don’t be afraid to use humor though not at the person's expense of course. Use your judgment, but if your loved one still has their social skills they will usually be delighted to laugh along with you.
