Seeing the World Differently
Dear Caregivers,
Look at the image above. Do you see leaves blowing off a tree, or profiles of faces looking right? The answer depends, of course, on how your mind perceives the image.
In this case, neither is “right” or “wrong”, but clearly they are very different perceptions. (In case you are wondering, I see faces.)
This optical illusion is a good metaphor for the challenges that caregivers like you face every day, as their loved one’s mind is altered by Alzheimer’s disease and often may see the world in its own way — a way that is different from your own, and often from that of reality. In these kinds of situations, your loved one’s brain, suffering from Alzheimer’s, can and will make mistakes that your loved one won’t be able to identify as being incorrect.
Handling these situations can be a difficult challenge: A caregiver’s common-sense urge might be to “correct the error” and explain the mistake to their loved one, but in fact this may only cause them further distress and confusion. Far better is to try this approach:
Recognize that your loved one’s denial and misstatements are not intentional, but rather symptoms of Alzheimer's disease.
Validate their feelings; don’t correct your loved one, or argue with them about what is true or real
Use simple language, direct eye contact, and avoid being confrontational.
If you feel you need to have a conversation about the issue, don’t begin by discussing the fact that your loved one is suffering from Alzheimer’s. Rather, start with saying “I’ve noticed…” or “We are seeing that…”
It’s important to remember that dementia is a progressive condition, so the changes in your loved one’s abilities will evolve during the course of the illness, and you two will have to face these challenges together as they arise. Be gentle with yourself too, as caregiving is both emotionally and physically demanding. If possible, collaborate with other family members or a professional caregiver to create a team of support.
Here are some more resources for coping with difficult behaviors such as denial:
How to Support a Loved One in Denial of their Diagnosis:
The concept of “denial” is one of the most common differences of opinion between caregivers and their loved ones with Alzheimer’s disease or other memory loss disorders. Here are some tips and strategies you can follow to reduce the frustration for both you and your loved one.
Common Caregiving Challenges in Alzheimer’s and Dementia:
As Alzheimer’s alters the ability of the patient to think and function, those changes can impact others. Here are some common challenges you may face, and the strategies that can help.
Coping with Auditory or Visual Hallucinations:
Hallucinations can be caused by diseases like Alzheimer's, which change the way the brain interprets what is seen or heard. Hallucinations can be very convincing, with the result that our loved ones have a false understanding of what they are seeing or hearing. Here’s how to cope.
Remember, if you can’t find the information you need on our website, you can always “Ask NAN” by clicking on this link.
Best,
Rosemary D Laird, MD, MHSA
Founder and Chief Medical Officer
“We don't get harmony when everybody sings the same note. Only notes that are different can harmonize. The same is true with people.”
— Steve Goodier
