Caring from Afar: Tips for Long-Distance Family Caregivers
Long distance caregivers are just that. They are loved ones who, for whatever reason: geographic, emotional, or vocational, cannot be present on a day-to-day basis with their loved one. Statistically, if you’re a long-distance caregiver you are one of the up to seven million caregivers who live more than an hour from the person in your care. Regardless of the time you spend in your caregiving commute, you are very prone to additional stress and anxiety.
In some cases, the long-distance caregiver is the primary caregiver as well. If that’s you, creating on-site care teams from among other family members, friends, and paid caregivers is critical.
If you are a long-distance caregiver but not a primary caregiver, your input can be valuable. But be respectful of the feelings of the primary caregiver and keep your involvement consistent. Nothing is more damaging to the spirit of a primary caregiver than to have a long-distance caregiver arrive for the holidays, proclaim everything a “mess”, and then return to their home without helping or offering assistance in some way!
Tips For Long-distance Caregivers
If You are Both a Long-Distance and Primary Caregiver
Take Your Oxygen First: keep your physical, emotional and spiritual health in top shape.
Find a local resource person. This is your “go to” person. He or she might be an extended family member or friend who is familiar with local resources.
Consider hiring a care manager (for older adults, a geriatric care manager) to be your local care coordinator and your loved one’s prime advocate in your absence. They will also be your eyes and ears keeping appropriate tabs on things as well as “boots on the ground” in case your loved one needs something quickly.
Develop a two-tier backup plan for caregiving responsibilities. Due to the unpredictable nature of caregiving for someone with a memory loss disorder, it helps to have more than one set of people to step in if you are unable to provide care.
Accept offers of help from neighbors, church members, and others.
Establish a good rapport with your loved one’s primary physician and get cleared to communicate directly with his or her office about your loved one’s care.
Carefully and proactively plan for the “long haul.” Have a one, three and five-year plan for your loved one’s needs as well as your own.
If You are a Long-distance Caregiver but Not the Primary Caregiver
All of the above and
Offer to provide respite for the primary caregiver. Plan either a one or two-week stay with your loved one or pay for a good long respite for the primary caregiver.
If you have a skill you can provide from your location either remotely or via telephone, email, etc. make the offer to help
Ask frequently about the finances and do your share of the work in making sure that expenses are taken care of.
